Bobby's Proposal
Bobby Blake's first proposal did not adhere to the norms of business decision-making
that define a "professional" presentation, earning only 64% on his slides.
See Bobby's First Try here (Be sure to review both the speaker's notes and the slide show).
You should be able to find several problems related the creation of his personal credibility (85%)
1. several errors in spelling and grammar
2. lack of personalized identity graphics with a reliance on generic "clip art" graphics
3. lack of quantification to support several of his claims
4. lack of fluency with the accepted technology tool (e.g. PowerPoint) for the situation.
You'll also see some problems with using the oral/visual format (80%)
1. slides utilize more verbal than visual communication
2. photos and graphics are not well integrated
The problem statement, claim, and proposed action are not completely clear. (90%)
1. no evidence is provided of the extent or signficance of the problem
2. the advantages of the proposed solution don't match the symptoms listed
3. no evidence is provided to support the solutions advantages
The biggest problem with the presentation is a complete lack of narrative, image, and self-disclosure, which are key steps to achieving persuasive results. (0%).
Bobby's Make-over (Again, look at both the show and the notes for changes and comments on each slide.)
An audience comment:
Wow, after looking through the visualizations, transitions and other adjustments you made to the powerpoint, I cannot believe the difference it makes on getting the message across. I particularly like the slides depicting the faceless person, the graph axis with no information, the mailbox, and the others depicting the limitations in a such a way that it really makes the audience think about the way things are currently done.
I also enjoyed the slide telling how much personal time Bobby spends doing each task on a daily basis, it really adds a sense of personal identity and ownership to the project. This is an excellent, real business type presentation that would have a great impact on persuading the audience.
I have been asked in so many classes to develop a powerpoint, with pictures, bullet points, a "pleasing template", etc. They are all the same, but the one that you have presented is something that is far more useful in the business world than any other I have seen or done for a class. I really think the personal aspect of the presentation would help the audience respect the presenter's idea and opinion more.
I think that if I presented your powerpoint to my upper management, there is no doubt they would buy a video conferencing system. I just wanted to mention that to you, that this is a great prep project for the professional business environment!! Below is my critique on the changes you made, slide by slide.
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